


Extra Weight

by I_write_instead_of_sleeping (orphan_account)



Series: Dumpster Fire of Queen angst [2]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Bisexual Roger Taylor (Queen), Bottom Roger Taylor (Queen), Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Roger Taylor (Queen), Insecure Roger Taylor (Queen), Insecurity, M/M, Men Crying, Protective Brian May, Top Brian May, Weight Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 14:11:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18624868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/I_write_instead_of_sleeping
Summary: Roger had struggled with feeling self-conscious before, especially about his stomach, and had constantly been working out and counting calories to keep his weight in check since he was a teenager. It didn’t matter how many biology classes he took, even if he knew that having a little tummy meant that he was healthy, he would still find some way to feel bad about it.So he worked hard to lose it. Everything, including his weight, was fine. It was all fine.Until he got together with Brian.**********************Roger's feeling a little self-conscious about his body. Brian helps him love himself.





	Extra Weight

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy this one!

Roger stared at the large mirror, smoothing down his outfit to compliment his ‘perfect’ figure. He quickly noticed that his once toned figure had dumbed down a bit, his stomach looking a bit tighter against his shirt. He felt a wave of realization wash over him. He  _ had  _ been eating a little more lately. He bit his lip nervously. Why hadn’t he noticed this before?

 

One word rang out in his mind, a word he absolutely  _ dreaded _ . 

 

_ Fat.  _

 

Roger had struggled with feeling self-conscious before, especially about his stomach, and had constantly been working out and counting calories to keep his weight in check since he was a teenager. It didn’t matter how many biology classes he took, even if he knew that having a little tummy meant that he was healthy, he would still find some way to feel bad about it.

 

So he worked hard to lose it. Everything, including his weight, was fine. It was all fine.

 

Until he got together with Brian.

 

Ever since the two got back together, Roger had felt better about himself, more relaxed. He didn’t even notice that he was slipping from his routine. Eating more. Eating what he  _ wanted _ . Being spoiled so much that he didn’t notice that he gained more weight. 

 

“Disgusting.” he muttered to himself. He  _ was _ truly disgusted with himself. And angry with himself for indulging too much, not thinking. 

 

Boy, how dumb he was. 

 

He sighed, pulling his shirt out a bit attempting to hide his less-than-flat stomach. He felt a shard of panic go through him, realizing he can’t hide it forever. 

 

Memories came flooding back, about the past men and women he had stayed with, whenever he had the joy of indulging himself, what they said to him. 

 

Every little word. It was all too much. 

 

“Gettin kinda  _ fat,  _ Roger”

“ _ Pretty boys _ shouldn’t put on all that weight”

“Don’t you think that’s  _ enough _ food for one man?”

 

What would Brian say? Well, he knows what  everyone else would say about him.  _ Fat. Spoiled. Lazy. Disgusting. Waste of money. Waste of time. _

 

Even though he had been with Brian for quite awhile now, who’s to say that Brian would be happy with Roger’s recent changes? His mind started drifting to worse thoughts. 

 

_ What if Brian finds out?  _

_ What if he hates it? _

_ What if he’s only with me because of how I look? _

_ What if I’m....too fat for him now? _

_. _

_. _

_. _

_ What if he leaves me? _

 

He felt his eyes burn.  _ No,  _ he thought, trying to blink away the realization,  _ but what if he does? _

 

Poking his stomach nervously before covering it once again with his shirt, he walked into the living room, trying to look less tense, and trying not to make it obvious that he had gained some weight. He knew he couldn’t hide it forever. Time in bed was a must for them every night. But maybe he could fix it. Fix all of it before anything happened. 

 

“Morning, Rog.” Brian said sweetly as he put a plate in front of Roger. Three pancakes, a glob of butter next to some bacon, fruit and toast. Roger fidgeted with his hands nervously, and looked away from the plate. 

 

“Something wrong?” Brian asked, sitting down himself with his usual cup of coffee. Roger shook his head quickly, cracking a fake smile. 

 

“It’s nothing. Not hungry is all.” Roger said. Brian looked confused. 

 

“Are you feeling okay? You always have this everyday. I haven’t seen you go a day without it since we got back together!” Brian exclaimed. 

 

Roger stared down at the plate of food. He’d been eating this much everyday for breakfast? Swallowing hard, he turned away. He disgusted himself. 

 

“Yeah...I’m fine. Just not hungry right now!” Roger said, attempting to crack a smile. Brian eyed him warily, but dropped the subject, finishing his coffee. 

 

“Well, I gotta meet Deaky about one of our classes. See you later..” he said, seductively winking, kissing him on the cheek. Roger felt like throwing up. He  _ dreaded _ the thought of later that night, removing his clothes and seeing Brian’s disgusted face. Throwing him out like others had, muttering about how he was too spoiled, a money hemorrhage.

 

When Brian left, Roger packed his breakfast up in tupperware, and threw in into the fridge. 

 

_ The gym,  _ Roger thought to himself,  _ I haven’t been there in a while. If I go full-on today, the weight will surely drop….. _

 

Roger set off to the gym, spending  _ hours _ there. He knew it was too long. He couldn’t stop. Not now. He skipped lunch, insisting it would “be good for him”. Going as fast as he could on each machine, hours, hours, so long. Too long.  

 

He found himself out of breath barely able to move, walking home as the sun slowly started to peak downwards. 

 

But upon looking in the mirror when he reached their shared dorm room, he still found that his weight remained. He felt panic grab him by the throat once more as he saw the time: 5:30. Brian would be home  _ any second.  _ And Roger had failed. He felt his eyes burn. 

 

“Roger? I’m home!”, Brian called as the door opened, making Roger jump. 

 

“J-just one second!” Roger replied, blinking back tears. He breathed deeply and greeted his lover.

 

“Hey, I got a shit ton of food, ready to eat?” Roger swallowed, once again disgusted at the thought of food. 

 

“Um...sure..”

 

As they ate, Roger barely touched his food. Brian grew concerned. 

 

“Roger. What’s up? Your acting really weird. You’ve barely touched your dinner. Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, making Roger sweat. 

 

“Y-yeah. I’m great! Just not hungry for dinner I guess. I’ll eat it later, I promise.”

 

“Ok…” Brian said, slightly seductive, “I’ll pack up the food. You meet me in...the bedroom”

 

Inside the bedroom, Roger’s anxiety grew. He couldn't ba to take his shirt off, not in front of Brian. Finally, Brian came into the bedroom, his shirt off. He sat down next to Roger, who sat motionless, shrinking in on himself with panic. Brian sat there, before Roger asked what was wrong. 

 

“Um... aren’t you gonna take your shirt off?” Brian asked, tugging slightly on Roger’s shirt. 

 

“I can’t..” Roger said quietly, hugging himself. Brian frowned. 

 

“You know Roger,” he said, his voice taking an edgier tone, “I didn’t wanna bring this up before sex, but I found your breakfast. In the fridge. Right next to where I put your  _ dinner.   _ Roger, are you fucking  _ serious?  _ Have you even had lunch?”

 

At the sound of Brian’s harsh voice, Roger’s heart stopped. This was it. Another fight. One that Roger was too weak to argue back to. 1

 

“And to top it all off, you’ve been acting really fucking weird! Being disgusted by every piece of food I give you! So tell me this,  _ Roger,  _ why the  _ fuck _ can’t you take your shirt off for sex!?” Brian said, his voice raised to a yell. 

 

Roger didn’t know what to do. Or say. He snapped. 

 

“Because I’m  _ fat _ Brian!” Roger blurted out, yelling every word. Brian looked surprised.

 

“I’m FAT and GROSS AND DISGUSTING! I went to the gym all day, skipped all my meals and I’m still FAT. I’ve been slipping and slipping from my routine and forgot to count my calories and work out and now I’m HIDEOUS so I can’t take my shirt off because you’ll see how gross I look and then you’ll leave me and things have just gotten better for me but now I’m FAT and I’ve ruined it all!”, Roger sputtered quickly, hot tears now streaming down his cheeks. 

 

He was struggling to breathe, his eyes flooded with tears. He breathed heavily between sobs, his whole body trembling. He gripped his shirt ferociously, unable to do anything but look down . Brian put a concerned hand on Roger’s shoulder, trying to steady him. 

 

“Roger..” he said quietly. 

 

“Don’t touch me!” Roger yelled between sobs and a faltering breath. 

 

“Roger...why would you think I would leave you?”

 

It was silent.

 

“B-because everyone else did..” Roger said in a small quiet voice,  still breathing heavily. 

 

Brian was silent for a moment. Then it hit up. Oh.  _ Oh. _

 

“Oh god, Roger….Roger, honey. I would  _ never _ do that to you... C’mere…” Brian said, scooping Roger into his arms as he sobbed into the man’s shoulders. Brian traced patterns on Roger’s back using his fingers until Roger calmed down.

 

“Brian..” he breathed, “I am so,  _ so _ sorry. I’m disgusting.”

 

“Roger. You don’t need to stay “flawless”. Gaining some weight can be healthy for you. You seem more relaxed when you’re eating bigger meals, and...and you deserve it.” Brian said gently, playing with Roger’s hair, “So please. I’m not going to leave you. Don’t feel obligated to lose weight. You’re perfect, Roger.”

 

“Okay..” Roger replied in a weak voice, “Okay..”

 

After a few quiet moments, Brian motioned for Roger to sit up. 

 

“Can you take your shirt off?”

 

Roger blushed slightly, but slowly pulled off his shirt, revealing his slightly pudgy belly. 

 

“I’m… I’m so gross…”, Roger breathed, the panic in his voice returning, tears brimming at the corners of his eyes.

 

“Baby, it’s fine. Whatever you do is perfect in my books. Because….I love you, Roger. And your weight has nothing to do with it.” Brian reassured, rubbing Roger’s back.

 

“And if you really want to lose more weight, going to the gym regularly is a healthy way to stay fit. It’s your choice. But you  _ need _ to eat”, Brian said, riding his hand up and down Roger’s chest and stomach. 

 

Roger lifted up his head and smashed his lips against Brian’s, pulling him down onto the bed. Pulling on his hair, Brian began running his fingers down Roger’s stomach, getting lower and lower, and finally reaching below his waist.

******************

 

After their night of passion, they finally collapsed onto the bed, ready to rest for the night. Roger, once again feeling much better about himself. 

 

Thank god for Brian.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I love Kudos and comments, so feel free to tell me what you think about this one!!


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